Why Rich Texans Talk That Way

From what I’ve observed, being a Texan but not rich myself, a heavy Texas accent is sort of a badge of class among well-to-do Texans. It says, “I’m rich enough and well-connected enough that I can talk any way I please, and I choose to talk like a Texan.”

You see, ordinary middle-class folks in the corporate world generally try to drop their Texas accents in order to be perceived as well educated and smart. Research has shown that people from elsewhere equate Southern accents with stupidity. (Their mistake.)

However, there’s another use for a strong Texas accent: it puts people off guard. In business deals that can be a real advantage. The Texan accent fools people into thinking they’re dealing with a dummy, and the Texan takes advantage of that and laughs all the way to the bank. Sometimes it even works on other Texans.

Here’s an example. A man I know who was a perfect examplar of Texas charm himself was sent to West Texas as a consultant to help get an air quality permit to operate a concrete company. His client had sold the concrete plant to a local rancher, and the deal hinged on the permit.

So the consultant called in some favors and got them a meeting with the head of the Texas agency that gave out the permits. When they got there, the official was courteous but firm. They would have to turn in their application like everyone else and wait for weeks. No exceptions. Of course, to be polite in Texas fashion, that took a long time to say.

While this explanation was being offered, the rancher was doodling on a piece of paper. Just as it concluded, he said, “You seem like a smart young fella. Would you mind giving me your opinion on this?”

As he spoke, the rancher walked around behind the huge desk and put his paper down in front of the startled bureaucrat. “Now see,” he said, “the name of the company is Kline County Concrete. And the logo is KCC. Now it would be really nice to keep that same logo. Save a lot of time and money, you know. This is kind of sentimental, but my wife’s name is Kathryn, so I was thinking it would be nice to name it after her, and call it Kathryn Coates Concrete, and then we could keep the same logo, and we wouldn’t have to repaint any trucks or signs, and….” blah, blah blah…all in a wonderful West Texas accent. “So, tell me, son, what do you think?”

During all this, the bureaucrat went into a sort of trance, his eyes sort of unfocused, and his expression was bemused. The paper that the rancher had put in front of him was the application. He signed it right then and there.

Among rich politicians, of course, a strong Texas accent is intended to say, “I’m really just one of y’all. I don’t represent ruthless corporate entities like Enron at all. I’m really just a simple country boy.” Yeah, right.

But even Texans still fall for it almost every time.

P.S. The names in this story were changed to protect actual identities—and because I can’t remember the rancher’s actual name.