10 Things You Should Know About Texas

To understand Texas, especially Texas politicians, there are 10 things you should know about Texans. These 10 facts will explain a lot.

1. Many of the people who moved to what is now Texas in the 1820s and 1830s were illegal aliens from the United States who sneaked into what was then the northernmost state of Mexico. That includes some of my ancestors.

2. Texas was originally much bigger. Right after the Texas Revolution (1836) it included parts of several other future states and extended all the way up to Idaho. Texans have never forgotten!

3. For 9 years Texans had our own independent country, the Republic of Texas. One of the first things they did was expel the Indians. How mean was that?!

4. The Republic of Texas legally reserved the right to secede when it joined the United States in 1845. Our, uh, esteemed (or steamed?) governor apparently remembers that—if nothing else. He does not seem to remember how badly things turned out when we last tested that theory in 1861. (Hint: Civil War. Confederacy. ‘nough said.)

5. People like guns here—even non-Texans who just live here. I mean, people really, really like guns here. So be real careful who you get mad at you.

6. Hunting is sort of a sacrament—right after football and pickup trucks. A lot of people just plain like to kill things. They consider hunting and killing things a God-given right.

7. Right up through the Viet Nam war, Texas had contributed the most soldiers to every single U.S. war since the Texas Revolution. We might still hold that record; I just haven’t checked lately.

8. Texans love to drive—fast—and consider it a God-given right to do so, like…well, like hunting and like carrying a gun.

9. We love our state, consider it unique, and take great pride in being Texans. “Don’t mess with Texas!” Yes, that phrase was coined to stop littering, but it stuck around because it expressed something primal about us.

10. There are a lot of smart people, a lot of dumb people, a lot of mean people, and a lot of crazy people in Texas. Unfortunately some of the folks in charge fall into all four groups. Doesn’t that just explain a whole lot about certain political events in recent years? Yeah, I thought so, too.

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