To talk like a Texan, you have to talk football. In fact, if you’re in Texas between August and the Superbowl, you pretty much have to.
Didn’t anyone tell you that in Texas football is almost everybody’s second religion? If you live in a small, rural town, everybody knows your car, where you live, and what church you go to (or if you don’t). If you don’t show up for church, people know you weren’t there. And someone probably saw your car, so they probably know where you were.
Well, the local Friday night high school football game is almost the same. What’s the matter with you, don’t you support The Team? So where were you? (Hint: Better have a pretty good excuse.)
And if you have kids, for a few years you probably also have to take them to the junior high and/or junior varsity games on Thursday nights during the season. Either to play or to see their friends. It’s almost a required course.
In the cities it’s a little different. The high school games are required only if you have to take your kids. The schools are large, and nobody looks for your car.
But in town, if you go to someone’s house on a weekend, there’s college football to watch (and endlessly discuss) on Saturday afternoon and professional games on Sunday. There are parties for playoffs and bowl games. And a big party for the Superbowl. “Hey, any more Shiner Bock in there? We’re out of guacamole, too.”
And then there’s Monday night football for the real diehards. (Don’t let on if you’re sick of football by then.)
Meanwhile at the office and everywhere else, there’s likely to be way too much talk about football. So be forewarned: You’d better know a touchback from a fullback if you want to fit in.
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